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Hello, friends! It’s hard to believe another year has come and gone, and we all hope you had a great holiday season. For some of us, there are cold, bleak, dreary weeks ahead, as January waves her icy wand over our tender nether regions, while those who bask year ’round in warm sunlight (especially you Floridians) take cruel pleasure in sending pictures of themselves soaking up the rays to loved ones up north. However, when the temperature drops below 60°, they put on three sweaters, long underwear, and a ski mask just to take out the trash. If it stays too cool for too long, frost destroys their orange groves and they lose all of their money. Then, hungry and with nowhere left to turn, they move to a small town in North Dakota to work on an oil rig and end up much colder than before! So what’s the point of this story? I have no idea; let’s just talk about our new catalog.
No matter the temperature at home, this month’s catalog is smokin’ hot! That’s especially good news for you poor souls that didn’t find your favorite smokes under the Christmas tree or next to the menorah. Although you’re probably enjoying the scarf and nose-hair trimmer Aunt Sadie bought you, it would have been nice to receive some premium cigars. Well, now’s your chance to buy yourself those sorely missed sticks. You work hard and you deserve it!
I’ll bet some of you are already drooling over our closeout section jam-packed with great stogies at even greater prices. If not, as soon as you’re done reading this witty and informative greeting, let your stubby little fingers do the walking to page 68! Being that it’s January, we’re getting the snowball rolling with some winter-themed samplers. On page 56, you’ll see our Cabin Fever Sampler featuring so many great cigars that you may just hibernate in your man cave until they’re gone. Then on page 59, there’s our Midwinter Mix-Up Sampler offering up seven great smokes to enjoy when you return from the supermarket with enough bread and milk to survive the impending blizzard. Speaking of which, has anyone ever died from not having bread and milk for two days? Certainly not! In fact, according to reliable sources, a family of six stranded in a log cabin in Cowabunga Falls, Minnesota, subsisted for five whole days during the winter of 1993 on only Hot Pockets and Twinkies! But once again, dear friends, I digress...
For our loyal customers closer to the equator, the 50 Ring is King Sampler on page 60 contains a fabulous array of some of our most popular big-ringed premium smokes for you to leisurely enjoy outdoors without getting frostbite and losing a valuable appendage.
Now, it’s time to stop schmoozing and let you folks enjoy page after page of great deals! Have fun, stay warm—or cool—and we’ll see you next month!